Pre-Shabbat Thoughts

Boy, this whole "blogging" thing is harder than it looks when you don't have outrageously interesting experiences on a weekly basis or have copious amounts of spare time and energy.  Hmm, maybe I'll need to rethink this a bit...

Loaves of Challah waiting patiently to be
blessed then devoured.

It's about 30 minutes before the official candle lighting time that marks the beginning of the Jewish Sabbath.  The challah is baked and ready to be ravenously consumed, and my mom has the rest of the meal simmering and baking in the kitchen, filling the room and the house with the comforting, savory scent of Shabbat.  Every home's Shabbat smell is different, but ours usually consists of challah, chicken, kugel, and soup.  It's as recognizable to me as early summer's lilacs or my dad's cologne (rarely used, but replete with associations nonetheless), smells that comfort and remind me of the simple necessities of home.

This will mark my fifth Shabbat at home since coming back from Israel, and I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to do it.  Shabbat is a lot of things - a religious commandment, a secession from work and the mundane, a day for family and rest - but most of all it is something personal and as such it is hard for me to blindly follow other people's rules for how to keep Shabbat.  I have a lot of questions to consider - should I work, and what constitutes as work?  Should I use the computer and the internet to keep in touch with friends  and risk wasting time doing meaningless and decidedly un-Shabbat-like things?  What should I do to sanctify the day without feeling as if I'm limiting myself from the simple things I truly enjoy?

Before I left for Israel I was careful not to use my computer or watch TV on Shabbat because of their associations with the stressors of the average weekday - news, advertisements, work and school-related e-mails, etc.  However, in Israel Shabbat took on an entirely new purpose because I didn't need it as a day to relax, since I spent most of the week doing nothing but relaxing.  As such, I gave myself more liberties and didn't abstain from as much.  In many ways, Shabbat lost much of its meaning for me, but I made up for it in other ways.

Since coming back it's been hard to adjust, especially since my experience in Israel helped me to develop spiritually.  Still, I'm faced with the same question: how do I make this day holy?

I'm sure it will take me a while to reach a sense of equilibrium and decide how I truly want to make this day my own personal day of rest, and I'm sure the moment I do I'll be back at school and it will all change again.  But I truly think it's important for all of us to search for the deepest personal meaning in any given situation, even if that means a little trial and error first.

Before I sign off for the day, I'd like to direct you to a beautifully-written article a fellow-blogger wrote at This Good Life.  In it, she describes what the Jewish Sabbath means in more global terms, and I highly recommend all of you - Jewish or agnostic, religious or secular - to read and consider her well thought-out words.

Shabbat Shalom!